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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742844">just once in the world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hank Anderson &amp; Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Marriage, Older Man/Younger Woman, Our bby moved out to live with his blonde wifey, Past Character Death, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:07:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"If it ever occurred, just once in the world, a love as absurd as ours, I would scream what we'd lost."</p><p>♡</p><p>In which Hank and Carmen Anderson will make their own family... one way or another.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cole Anderson &amp; Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson &amp; Connor, Hank Anderson/Original Female Character(s), Original Chloe | RT600/Connor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just once in the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm tired so if this isn't good... don't kill me. (Also it's my first non-RPF fic in years so... please.)</p><p>Warning for: fertility issues, past character death, general angst.</p><p>Title from "Just Once in the World" by Bright Eyes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't what he had gone into the office expecting to hear.</p><p>"I am terribly sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson..." the doctor said in his hushed voice, nervously fiddling with his hands. "But it looks as though your chances of conceiving are... well... slim to none."</p><p>Hank's stomach drops. He resists the urge to put his head in his hands, — instead, he grips Carmen's hand even tighter, remembering that he isn't the only one hearing this news.</p><p>He musters up the courage to look at her, only to find what looks like misplaced hope, still shining in her honey-colored eyes. "Are you sure?" she asks the doctor as she squeezes Hank's hand back. "I mean, I know that Hank's... a lot older than I am, of course, but..."</p><p>"I regret to inform you, ma'am, but your husband isn't the concern here," the doctor interrupts her. "For the most part, the issue seems to be you."</p><p>At that moment, Carmen's face drops. The light seems to vanish from her eyes, which quickly drop down towards her lap. "Oh."</p><p>Quicker than he can make sense of them, several emotions rise up from somewhere deep inside Hank, each one strong enough to knock him over if he weren't sitting down.</p><p>For one thing, he wants to give this sonofabitch doctor a piece of his mind for talking to his wife like that. Now, he knows he's probably one of the last people in the world who has any right to talk about tact, but he'd think that the man could be a bit more sensitive.</p><p>On the other hand, he knows that coming to blows with a medical professional isn't going to do anything at the end of the day. Besides, it's not the doctor that he cares about... it's Carmen.</p><p>Carmen, who is currently watching the part of her future that she hadn't been able to stop talking about for months, crumbling before her very eyes. He can't see her face, — it's concealed by the curtain of her long, dark hair, a convenient way to hide the look of devastation that Hank can only imagine, though he truly doesn't even want to do that.</p><p>He slips his fingers from between hers, only to throw his arm over her shoulders. She's held him up, time and time again. He figures now's his time to return the favor.</p><p>The doctor blinks, still offering them his sorry excuse for a sympathetic grin. "Once again, I am terribly sorry," he says. "Do the two of you have any questions? Concerns? I can set you up with our counselor, if you wish. She's really great, a Caretaker model..."</p><p>"You've done enough, Doc," Hank interrupts him. He stands up from his seat before reaching to help Carmen to her feet. "Only thing you can do for the wife and me is learn how to watch your fucking mouth."</p><p>"Oh... uh... well..." The doctor's eyes are as wide as satellites, the surprise of Hank's response turning him a shade paler. "I..."</p><p>Hank doesn't wait for the end of that sentence. He just allows Carmen to lean into him as he opens the door open for her.</p><p>"It's alright, Minnie," he mumbles to her. "We're goin' home."</p><p>-</p><p>Though the midafternoon sun is still shining bright when they return home, Carmen heads straight to bed when they walk through the door. Without a word, she heads down the hallway towards the bedroom, leaving Hank standing, still as a statue in the doorway still.</p><p>Heart sinking, he shrugs off his coat. Alerted of his master's presence, Sumo trots across the living room to greet him.</p><p>Hank gives the dog a weak smile, reaching down to give him a quick scratch. "Hey, boy. How are ya?"</p><p>Sumo opens his large jowls in a drool-soaked, satisfied yawn, causing Hank's grin to become just a bit more sincere. It would be a cold day in hell before Sumo ceased to bring him just a bit of joy.</p><p>Of course, that grin soon fades away when he looks back down the hall, only to see the bedroom door still ajar, the room devoid of light. The whole house is deadly quiet, instilling a sense of foreboding deep within him.</p><p>Hank untangles his fingers from Sumo's fur. "Be right back," he tells his companion before heading down the hallway.</p><p>-</p><p>As soon as he walks into the bedroom, his suspicions are confirmed. Carmen is lying there on her side, a blanket pulled up to her chin. When Hank walks to the other side of the bed, he finds that she isn't asleep, — she lies completely motionless, eyes wide open.</p><p>Hank sighs. "We're going to be okay, Minnie. I promise." He walks back around to the other side of the bed, — his side, as the two of them had decided so long ago. As soon as he can, he wraps his arms around Carmen's waist, pulling her to him.</p><p>In no time at all, she's turning over. The next thing Hank knows, hot tears are seeping through his T-shirt, Carmen's back trembling beneath the palm of his hand.</p><p>"Hey... No..." He runs his fingers through her jet-black hair, hoping that the gesture will bring the slightest bit of comfort.</p><p>She grabs ahold of his shirt, bunching up the fabric.</p><p>He only holds onto her tighter. "It's alright," he says again, "I'm here. I've got ya."</p><p>Finally, the sobs calm down enough for him to make out a few shaky words. "I‐I'm sorry," she says. "I wanted it s-so badly... I thought we could do it... I didn't know that I was... that I was broken."</p><p>Despite the familiar feeling of dread wrapping itself around him, Hank finds some way to stay calm. He presses a kiss to her temple. "For God's sake, Carmen, you ain't broken... It ain't fair, but it happens to the best of us, okay? There's nothing wrong with you."</p><p>"I feel like there's something wrong with me," she says quickly. "I know there is. For fuck's sake, Hank..."</p><p>She pulls away from him. Through the dark, he can still see her eyes, looking oddly haunted and swimming with tears.</p><p>"I wanted that baby so bad," she whispers.</p><p>Hank clears his throat, trying to keep his own tears from escaping. "I know."</p><p>"I wanted to be a mom," Carmen continues, her voice high and soft. "And I wanted... I wanted to really see you with a kid of your own. I wanted us to be parents together."</p><p>Hank just nods in reply to this, fruitlessly attempting to swallow the lump in his throat, just before she crumbles into his arms again.</p><p>-</p><p>After Carmen dozes off, he sneaks back to the kitchen. Careful not to make a sound, he saunters over to the refrigerator in his slippers, grabbing a beer out of the back.</p><p>He knows it's a cheat, — what with Connor eventually convincing him to get more or less clean before he moved out with Chloe, his last drink was only about a week ago. He usually allows himself a drink or two per month, but, hey. Today calls for it.</p><p>Pulling open the tab, he takes a seat at the table. He takes a long swig of the ale as Sumo comes to sit at his feet, reveling in the relative silence, save for the hum of the refrigerator and the whir of the lightbulb hanging over his head.</p><p>He sits there, — not reading, not watching television, not messing with his phone or listening to music. He just sits, in the company of his dog, drinks his beer, and thinks.</p><p>Until the picture frame on the table disrupts his train of thought.</p><p>Hand shaking just a bit, he reaches out to pick it up.</p><p><em>Damn thing got knocked over again</em>.</p><p>Once he's looking at the picture, of course, he can't unglue his eyes from it.</p><p>There's Cole, — seven years old, first day of the second grade, with his sandy hair and gleaming blue eyes and bucked teeth, crooked from years of thumb-sucking.</p><p>Suddenly, a great wave of a terribly familiar feeling washes over him, — some muddled mixture of love and sorrow.</p><p>He drops the frame again, laying his head down against the tabletop.</p>
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